Sunday, October 4, 2009

Two is better than one

Maybe its true, that I can't live without you.

Warning : This is a self pity post. Screw you if you have no respect for self pity-ers.

I feel left out.
Staying at home last night was the last straw, no one even asked me.
This is the main reason I don't wanna go to school tomorrow.
I'm really sick and tired of being left out.
I know i'm not really sociable or talkative or fun or funny but that doesn't give them a reason to leave me out does it?
Maybe its because I just really really suck.
I really wish Kadija was here.


I hate this year, I hate everything that happened this year.
I want my old friends back.
I failed my piano exam btw, I'm gonna have to retake it in April.
Whatever, I couldn't care less.


I hated my birthday this year.
It was nothing compared to last year.
It wasn't special, it wasn't fun, but it was what I expected.
I waited till 12am of the 5th of September just so I could cry.
I didn't want to cry on my birthday.


Everything is just so fucked up.
I'm trying to live on the positive side, but its not really working.
I want to be alone, I want to stay in my room forever and never come out.
I never want to socialize, I never want to laugh at people's jokes even though its not funny, I never want to fake a smile.
However, I want someone who can comfort me, someone who cares, someone who I can call in the middle of the night just to talk.
He doesn't have to be a guy, he doesn't have to be straight, but he has to listen.


I don't get it, everytime I get a special friend, someone else gets closer to them and starts being their special friend.
Its so unfair.
Now I have no one to talk to.
No fucking one.
Kadija doesn't count, I can't talk to her.
I really hate this year.

I really really want to stay home until my finals, then it'll be the year end holidays, I'll never have to see anyone again for 2 months. I so can't wait.

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